Sometimes the best way to answer an argument is (1) with a counter-argument. Sometimes the best way to answer an argument is (2) by showing its falsehood by our actions. And sometimes the best way to answer an argument is (3) to say, “Well, you’re half-right” and go on from there. This lesson will be a mixture of all three.
To begin with, our speaker for this hour is George Ontko. George is a student at Covenant Theological Seminary and has worked with a Christian ministry to men and women struggling with homosexuality, a ministry called Harvest, based out of Philadelphia. He has studied the topic of homosexuality extensively and has worked with men and women—Christian and non-Christian—who have struggled in this area. He should be able to answer some of the arguments thrown at Christians with counter-arguments. When someone says, “I was born gay” or “The Bible doesn’t really condemn homosexuality,” I think you’ll be prepared to answer.
But if the argument is that Christian opposition to homosexual sin is homophobic, we also need to deal with that argument in our actions. George is open about his own struggles in this area. The man who will be speaking to you tonight has struggled with homosexual sin in his own life. He thus speaks from personal experience. If homophobia is an irrational fear of people struggling with homosexuality, our welcoming George among us for this hour and learning from him should show the world that we aren’t afraid of George.
We also have to acknowledge that Christians often have been afraid of men and women who struggle in these areas. Many Christians secretly struggle, and feel unable to turn to their fellow Christians because of fear of judgment. We have often treated this one area of sin as more serious than “our” besetting sins. But our goal isn’t to bemoan our failings, but to move on from there. Often the Christian who acknowledges he’s blown it has the most powerful testimony before the watching world.
George’s notes follow. He invites questions from the floor. He’s not embarrassed to talk about this, and hopes you won’t be either.
1. who:
2. what:
"An ongoing desire for intimacy with members of the same sex that violates biblical boundaries of sexual purity, and the acting on that desire."
3. where:
4. why?
A. disbelief:
B. idolatry:
C. desire to control life rather than trust God:
Efficient Causes (“kneading” the dough):
"Same-sex ambivalent feelings of love and hostility toward other men function as lifelong blocks against full male identification. Although the homosexual may eroticize relationships with men, defensive detachment blocks his ability to fully identify with maleness. Although he may love other men, he is also hostile and distrusting of them. This frustrating ambivalent attitude toward men is one explanation for the great promiscuity in male relationships... Defensive detachment also prevents the homosexual from internalizing the missing masculinity that would allow him to grow in heterosexual identity. It is his healthy desire to take in the masculine-which is block by defensive detachment-that binds him into a frustrating predicament. ...DD explains the quality of loneliness and alienation so often associated with the homosexual experience." -Joseph Nicolosi, Reparative Therapy p 105,6
5. how...
help the person be accountable to someone, if not you
Think about these discussion questions over the next week. You may want to jot down your thoughts.
1. Why do you think relatively few churches stress the power of God’s laws—his moral standards—to draw people to Christ?
2. A co-worker says, “I think Christians need to keep their Psalms out of my uterus. I don’t agree with their religion.” How might you re-frame the question in a way that will help them understand where we’re coming from?
3. How would you answer a Christian who said that abortion must be okay with God since it’s not mentioned in the Bible?
4. Name some early Christians who spoke out for the lives of the unborn.
5. “The children who are aborted would mostly grow up poor anyway.” How do you answer this concern?
6. A friend says, “Christians’ religion says unborn babies are alive—that’s why they’re against abortion.” How would you help this friend see that it’s not just our “religion” that says the fetus is alive?
7. “You can’t legislate morality—it’s a personal choice.” Discuss.
8. How comfortable do you feel around people who struggle with homosexuality? Why do you feel that way? What examples from Jesus’ ministry can you find that show us how we ought to feel and act around sinners?
9. Someone tells you, “People are born gay. It’s that simple. You can’t say that’s wrong.” How might you respond?